My Favorite Book
by SoulMaam
Summary: [Based on the song by Stars] *HOLY MESS REVISED* It's been a year since he looked into her beautiful gaze, only to find that they were filled with worry. He never wanted more than to consolidate their love, but a strong duty to their friend and the world rested between. He never knew there was someone that could make him come alive with the adventure she brings. Zutara
1. My Favorite Book

**A/N: **I don't own Avatar. Good talk, guys. Meet me at the bottom for a full Author's Note!

Rain fell in streams against the window pane. A man with strong features only a Fire Lord could possess made a fresh pot of green tea before sitting in the chair in front of the large window, meditating on his duties for the coming day. As he sipped from his porcelain cup, the rain began pour from the sky and branches from the willow tree outside lightly tapped the glass from the strength of the wind. A shock of lightning lit the room and rolling thunder behind it immediately after. He couldn't help but ponder the beautiful relationship that was a storm- the destruction it leaves, yet, the healing within. This beautiful turmoil brings about the feeling of comfort, but also of loneliness...

A faint knock sounded on the large oak door and before he could say a word the door squeaked open to let in a sliver of light from the hallways into the room lit only by the lightning from outside. He briefly wondered if it was a servant coming to prepare for the morning. With the storm just beginning outside it was hard to tell if it was morning yet or not. If it was morning, how long has he been awake for? Usually he would be the one to summon them when he needed them since they've always been considerate to not bother hi-

"Zuko, it's been so long."

That voice. Zuko nearly choked on his tea when she spoke, her voice resonating not only throughout the room but within himself as well. He felt a shiver go down his spine, as it the lightning from outside managed to creep its way into the room. The thoughts he was attempting to clear with tea and meditation pulled to the front of his mind with the sound of that voice. Even with his back turned from the door Zuko knew that voice could only belong to _her._

"I can't sleep," She continued when he said nothing.

She was supposed to be in the south with her water tribe, so why is she here now? He haven't seen her in years, so why has she come to see him? Because she can't simply _sleep?_ Question after question popped in and out of his head. There are so many questions, like how did she even gain access to the Fire Lord's, _his_, chambers? Zuko tried to focus on answering this one, since it was the least personal. She was the ambassador for water and fire nation relations and the most powerful water bender, so was she easily recognized by the guards and they let her in or did she intimidate them somehow?

"I had a feeling that something was wrong. I just... wanted to check up on you." Her voice, so quiet and soft, was, and still is, my biggest weakness. Silence followed after her admission, thunder rudely intruding into the conversation. Zuko foolishly attempted advice.

"Have you considered trying to preoccupy yourself?" As soon as the words left his mouth he became embarrassed and tried to correct himself. "I mean- er, doing things like water bending or taking a dip in a hot spring? There's...finally peace in the world and you shouldn't be thinking about such troubles already, Katara."

He expected her to say something, but all that he heard was a small sniffle. Oh no, are she _crying_? Fuck, was he condescending? He was such an _idiot_.

She stumbled on her words as she tried to hold back the tears. "Peace isn't that great. I've become restless... bored... and lonely. I can't be the only one like this with these concerns." She paused as a flash of lightning lit the room again, bringing out the deep red and gold of the furniture and walls,

Zuko grew uncomfortable at her bold admission. She has always been stronger than this. In times of war, even when they were pitted against each other, she was always strong, so why was she breaking in this time of peace?

Thoughts raced through his head as he mulled over her statement. Restlessness is inevitable. After war there is always someone bitter and out for blood and change. Something to go as far as-

Zuko couldn't tell her any of this- he could sense that she are still exhausted from her travels and responsibilities she has gained after the war. He was left with no choice but to lie.

"You're the only one with those concerns. There's nothing to report. Nation's leaders have shown no fear and nothing of malice, so what has surfaced these thoughts?" He stood to turn and look at Katara, but only to see her head bowed. He know he shouldn't have been so rude, but he couldn't let her know how much he had missed her, how much he liked her being there.

At least, not yet.

He couldn't help but notice how much more beautiful she had become, even in sadness.

After a long moment Katara finally looked up and captured his gaze within hers. Zuko tried to shift his eyes away, but she held firm, eyes scanning his as if she were reading him like a book. He felt drawn to her and as he moved his body closer to hers her delicate form matched his movement.

He had been afraid of those eyes that could read him so easily, as if he were her favorite book. He was afraid of what she would see, but now it was too late- she have seen everything.

"You have always been my best friend, Zuko. You can't keep anything from me. Nothing is okay- I can feel it," Katara told him as she placed a gentle hand on his arm as if urging him to hold her, to comfort her.

His heart urged him to give her what she wanted and to be the security that she needed, but he tried to resist. He knew he should resist her touch and keep a hold of the wall that had been placed between them. However, Zuko's decision to resist was broken when he saw her face and that gentleness broke him, as it always had since he realized that she was his weakness.

Taking the first step in a new direction is always the hardest, but having her fall into his arms, smelling her sweet scent, was just the reward he needed to keep moving forward. Her eyes, filled with a soul so sweet and ancient, entranced him to pull her even closer to his body. With his right hand pressed gently against her soft cheek, he lowered his lips to hers.

Their first kiss, only a few years too late

**A/N: **I posed this story a bit ago, but after heavy edits, I'm giving it a second go. I am still keeping the theme of having soundtracks to each chapter, some instrumental, some not- depends on what is going on in the story. It might help me, it might not. This first chapter came to me while listening to "My Favorite Book" by Stars. I tots recommend listening to it, it's kind of nice.


	2. Slowly, Comes the Light

**Disclaimer**: Get a glass a wine (or juice if you're underage) before reading, as recommended by a friend.

**A/N:** I possess nothing- this includes ATLA series.

I want to make a "soundtrack" to this book to give it some extra feeling, it if calls for it. I might create a theme of each chapter related to a particular song, but I want the tone and tempo of the story to be like "My Favorite Book". The reason I do this is music helps me create- it, like….gets to me, man. And I want to share how I was feeling writing the story to you!

If you are curious about the song inspiration for this chapter, I recommend,**"****Hægt, kemur ljósið****" ****by Ólafur Arnalds.**

A fervent morning wind rolled into the Fire Lord's room through an open window. The cool spring air gently brushed Zuko's cheek, bringing him slowly to consciousness. His eyes opened just enough to see that he was in his bed. Fully opening his eyes and without moving his head from the red silk pillow, he gazed out at the window in front of his bed to see that last night's storm ceased and that the sky was turning golden in its imminent dawn. Feeling a weight in his arms, Zuko lowered his gaze to find Katara's delicate, sleeping form intertwined with his robust arms. His heart lifted, surprised that she had agreed to be with him for the night.

Katara remained in a deep sleep- her face relaxed into a peaceful expression, stomach lightly expanding with every slow breath. She was still in her day-wear, mangled from slumber, as was he. He drew her closer to his chest and was greeted with the rich scent of sea salt. Zuko traced his finger along Katara's shoulder where her shirt had slipped during the night, viewing the contrast between his pale rough body and the rich bronze glow of her soft skin.

Zuko thought back to the previous night, or rather that morning, when Katara suddenly appeared in his room. She had questioned why he was still awake in the early hours of the morning, but sensing that she was exhausted from her travels he proposed that they should retire for the night, blocking any notions of further intimacy. _We will discuss this in the morning, _he must have told her, and neither of them protested the thought as they were both far too enervated to do much else.

More than anything, he did not want to end the eternity that was contained in his bed.

However, Katara soon began to stir, exhaling a small sigh followed by a moan. Her sleepy eyes met Zuko's and he was immediately entranced by their sapphire color- incandescent, a merging of joy and misery contained within blue irises. The corners of his lips twitched up into a smile, lifting the scarred skin on his cheek, and he bent his head to gently kiss her forehead, the black goatee lightly grazing her temple.

Katara let out another soft sigh and frowned, breaking away from his embrace, and looked away towards the window. She slowly rose and shifted her legs to the edge of the bed, still heavy with sleep. Zuko watched her gaze fixate on the orange rising sun that began to light up the palace's garden, illuminating the leaves and making them come alive with color, as if they were fire. He reached over to touch her arm, attempting to convince her to return to his embrace. Her arm was rigid as she became stiff. She lowered her head towards the floor and closed her eyes, as if in prayer.

Zuko's heart sank to his stomach, a sudden realization plaguing his thoughts.

_You knew all along. You know exactly what's going on._

_You just wanted to hear it from me._

He could no longer avoid addressing the truth between them- the main reason why she went to such great lengths to see him.

Zuko rubbed his eyes of any residual sleep and moved to the side of the bed opposite of Katara. He placed his feet on the cold floor and removed himself from the bed. Walking slowly to the opposite side of his quarters with his back to Katara, facing a large, ornate desk, which had been inherited from his grandfather, with a pile of scrolls spread out messily on top, hiding his family's crest that had been engraved into the wood.

Zuko took a few slow, deep breaths, trying to change from a romantic to a diplomatist. The air around him changed as his posture became stiffer and his back more rigid. He schooled his features into that of a cool, calculated official, but he struggled with getting into the mindset of one. It wasn't without great difficulty that he managed to think of Katara as one of his diplomatic colleagues, forcing him to act more cold and distant than he had ever been with her before.

Silence filled the room as the sun rose halfway over the horizon, radiating warmth and light into the room.

Zuko hesitated, not wanting to break the silence that had fallen between them. "Katara, there -"

"Wait," she demanded and Zuko could hear the bed frame creak as she rose and padded lightly on her bare feet to the window.

A larger, cruder silence followed.

"Do you remember the last time we saw each other?" Katara asked, being the one to break the awful silence.

Although Zuko did not remember as much as he wanted to, considering a year passed between then and this moment, he tried his best to recall as much detail as possible,

_A few years after the war, leaders and ambassadors of the nations gathered around to talk about trade agreements, economy, military expenses, and the general state of affairs. There was nothing sentimental about it- just business. Aang proctored the meeting, creating compromise if tension arose. The only conversation Zuko remembered was the Earth Queen's incessant need to place a tax on trade ships arriving at her ports._

_He tried to recall Katara, possibly surrounded by other waterbenders and Water Nation leaders, but he couldn't picture her. He couldn't remember if she spoke to him, or even if he spoke to her at all. When the meeting adjourned_, _he was quickly escorted out and had no opportunity to reacquaint with her or any old friends._

Katara assumed an answer by the bow of Zuko's head, and continued. "That meeting was the last time I had seen any of us. It's been a year and no one returns my letters…not a single word has been exchanged. Well- except Sokka, but it's easier considering when you're in the same tribe-"

Zuko chuckled at her obvious annoyance toward this.

"I understand that we all have been concerned with our own nation's affairs, but" she paused, sniffling lightly. "You could have _told me. _Instead, I had to find out _on my own_," Katara grumbled, choking back tears.

Zuko turned around when he heard the sound of her voice breaking, but he was unable to face her immediate direction. He turned his head towards the same window she was observing to see that the vibrant scarlet and yellows of the Celosia flowers made the trees look like they were surrounded by fire as well. He remembered the day his mother urged him to help make the flowers an addition to the garden. _The red ones are a symbol of courage, and the yellow ones mean peace_, she had said. Zuko did not concern himself of flower symbolism then, but as the light irradiated over the gardens, he suddenly realized why flowers are presented as gifts.

Heat from the guilt budded from his chest to his head and the wall he tried so hard to build collapsed. Zuko turned toward Katara to find her staring at him, arms crossed and icy eyes piercing through him.

"Zuko, where did Aang go?" She didn't shout, but he could hear the anger, the anxiety in her words.

The brutal silence returned. He could not think what to say other than 'I don't know' and 'I'm sorry that I waited to tell you'. He thought he could figure it out before anyone could find out, even the ones closest to him.

"I-I'm sure that he will show up eventually," he lied, his assurance sounding more like a question than a promise.

"I thought so too," she quietly spoke. "He used visit the tribe every spring, but he didn't this year. I tried sending letters, but I haven't received a single hint that he is where he says he is. He never has just gotten up and left before. He has always told somebody where he was going to go before he left, so now I'm suspecting that something horrible happened to him," she revealed.

The sun had fully risen and turned into a burning yellow, illuminating the regal red of Zuko's bedroom. Katara turned her body away from him and back towards the outside. She attempted another sigh, but instead it became a whimper that quickly intensified into weeping. She collapsed to the floor, trying hard to not breakdown.

Zuko thought that it was best to allow her a moment to liberate the sorrow of her friend's disappearance. Instead of leaving her to her own devices, he knelt down and pulled Katara's body to him, holding her gently within his arms.

As she wept into his shoulder, Zuko dreaded telling her the one secret he had managed to keep from everyone else thus far. He desperately wanted to keep it under wraps, but if he wanted to mend his relationship with Katara, he had no choice but to tell her.

Once Katara's sobs wilted into sniffles and a few stray tears, he spoke, careful with his words,

"There's something that you need to know about Aang's disappearance."

As expected, Katara became motionless and ceased crying altogether with the exception of a stray sniffle. Her eyes drifted up to match his gaze, the air around them becoming cold and stagnant as Zuko fought within himself to say the words that need to be said.

Heart pounding within his chest, he took a deep breath before saying, "He was on one of my ships when he disappeared."

**A/N**: I will have to admit that adventure is not my strongest genre- but I want to accept the challenge because I want more to this story than Zutara fluff (which I promise there will be plenty). The reason I initially tried to avoid adventure plots is because I know I will confuse my locations/lore-things that should remain canon for the sake of the plot and try to not make it a Pokémon game (i.e. a battle at every corner)…or make too many plots. I encourage constructive criticism! I'm very critical of myself, so I don't know if I did anything good.

I recently looked up the translation for the song inspiration. It's entitled, "Slowly, comes the light" and it was a coincidence (I promise) that I use a lot of light symbolism (or attempted it).


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